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08 January 2008 @ 04:07 pm
I remember standing there, looking at him and wanting to pick up something - anything - and hurl it at his head.

Fortunately there weren't any objects within reach and pins and needles had begun to creep down my arms and legs, making it difficult to coordinate a successful attack.

"Get out!" I screamed. "Getoutgetoutgetout!!!"

I started to twirl my hair (a nervous habit since childhood) and my stomach began to knot. I looked around my apartment, trying to collect my thoughts, and realized I was shaking.

He's gone, I thought to myself. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. He's…


I took a deep breath and sat down on my couch. I heard the footsteps of my neighbours, walking on the floor above me. The refridgerator rattled and a car alarm went off down the street.

All of these noises seemed very, very loud.

I got up and started to pace.

Look, I said to myself. He's probably sitting in the parking lot right now, feeling foolish about the whole thing. He would never just up and leave. Why don't you march out there and tell him how much you love him. Tell him that even though he said some horrible things, you are willing to forgive him. He's not gone. He can't be gone.

I walked through the empty parking lot and onto the empty street. I stood under a street light and watched the snow fall around me.

I remember our first date. I had taken a little extra time doing my hair and makeup and spent the entire morning on the phone with my girlfriends, going on about him. Mom always said that when you meet your future husband you will know. She was right. I knew it was going to be him. Right from the day 1, I knew …

I began to cry.

For a short time I could not stand to see his picture or hear his name. The very thought of him made me want to stick my head in the sand.

And then one day I was walking down the street. A car passed and as it did I caught wind of a familiar song which brought me back to the night we first met. As it played I hummed along,

and then went about my day.
29 August 2007 @ 03:55 pm
The wheel barrel was across the street from my house, on Mrs. McLeaver's lawn. It was a large piece rested permanently in the centre of her land. She had put soil in its body and every summer, beautiful flowers bloomed.

Mrs. McLeaver was a nice lady and when the neighbourhood children engaged in hide and go seek the wheel barrel was my favourite place to go; if I angled myself just right, I was practically invisible.

Mrs. McLeaver was elderly and one day, sadly, she passed away in her sleep.
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21 August 2007 @ 09:32 am
Leona Helmsley, the notorious “Queen of Mean” passed away Monday. Upon learning this, I expected to open the newspaper and find something celebrating her accomplishments, as is the standard when someone with money dies. Recall the recent passing of entertainment mogul Merv Griffin. For a week after his death, newspaper, radio and television time has cast him in a positive light. Unfortunately for her, Ms. Hemsley is no Merv Griffin and the coverage of her death has been quite different.
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31 July 2007 @ 09:32 am
One day I had to leave work early and of course, that was the afternoon the elevators were shut down for maintenance. I had a bus to catch, the last one for an hour. In heels I ran down 29 (!) flights of stairs and across the street to Union Station, Toronto's version of Grand Central.

Union is always busy during business hours. By this time I had two minutes to catch my bus, which was departing on the other side of the building. Off I sprinted, weaving in and out of people, calves aching. Finally my knees gave out and I belly flopped/face planted right onto the floor.

SO embarrassing.

Except that nobody noticed.

Well that's not completely true. One man, engaged with his Blackberry, actually stepped over me.

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My life has become like Office Space. And like in the film, everyday that I come into work is the worst day of my life.

One Tuesday, I wake up refreshed. The sun is shining and I can hear birds outside. I stretch and roll over and smile. I never feel rested on weekdays. Today is going to be a great day.

I open my eyes, look at the clock, and panic sets in. It is 10.30. I forgot to set my alarm.

I’m two hours late for work. Bullocks!
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23 July 2007 @ 02:17 pm
Toronto's traditionally low crime rate is on the rise. Gang violence is exploding and today, drive-by shootings are commonplace in Toronto ghettos. This past Sunday was particularly bloody; three people died at the hands of guns (previously unheard of). One of the victims was an 11 year-old boy named Ephraim Brown. An innocent bystander, Ephraim was murdered because two despicable thugs decided to shoot at one another while children played nearby.

Ephriam had been perched on a fence, celebrating at a family barbeque. A stay bullet hit him in the throat, knocking him off the fence and taking his life, to paraphrase one of his neighbours, before it even began.
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22 June 2007 @ 11:55 am
Gaining Ground: A Tool for Advancing Reproductive Rights Law Reform
Written and published by the Centre for Reproductive Rights

Written for Feminist Review
[Publication Pending]
Any act, implicit or implied, that limits or refuses a woman reproductive self-determination is a violation of her human rights. Countries have begun to move forward on this issue via the reformation of existing laws and the implementation of new ones.

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07 June 2007 @ 11:39 pm
If a blog is written, and nobody is there to read it, does the blog even exist?


Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
23 May 2007 @ 03:33 pm
It is better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take a rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows no victory or defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt
22 May 2007 @ 11:00 am
Lie on the ground and stare and the night sky.
You will see stars cast from a billion light years away. Some have burnt out millions of years ago; their light only reaching us now.
Right now I'm reading Cosmos by Carl Sagan. The book, to take from it’s inside flap, is about space, time, evoloution, and consciousness … and how through all of these things working together, and through an unlikely, seemingly random series of events, it has created intellegent beings like you and me and has become self-conscious.

It's interesting, non?
In my opinion, most of us humans don't like thinking along those lines. It makes us feel rather small. And we don't like to think of ourselves as small - we'd much rather be big, important, and have things revolve around us. We are conscious but a lot of humans have huge egos which makes us forget how tiny and insignificant we are, in terms of the cosmos. Many people wouldn't be too keen to think of themselves as nothing more than a tiny node of consciousness, floating around in a sea of nothingness.

If you travel along a vertical path for a hundred kilometres you will find yourself in space. And you will see how small you really are. And once you are aware of that,
Isn't it silly to waste time worrying about pointless things, like pride, jealousy, and insecurity?
And to cheat, lie, and to be an all-around crappy person?

Just asking ...